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[25 Dec 2004|07:39pm] |
i thought that this was solid, stability and safety sitting in my hand. just take a look at your life, youre all alone. who will be there when i need someone? count on nobody and no one will let you down. i dont care. just let me go. i dont need this anymore.
love is not forever. friendship is not forever. there is nothing set in stone youre on your own. who will be there when i need someone? count on nobody and no one will let you down. i dont care. just let me go. i dont need this anymore.
i dont need this anymore
dependence is followed by weakness,dont be your own hostage. if i know so many, why dont they know me? they dont know me. just take a look at your life, youre all alone. now i know what were made of. confusion, complication, and uncertainty. i thought this was real, i was wrong. so i don't know
who will be there when i need someone? count on nobody and no one will let you down. i dont care. just let me go. i dont need this anymore. wholl be there when i have no one? dont expect that anyone will go out of their way. i dont care that im all alone i dont need this anymore
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[09 Dec 2004|09:19pm] |
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music |
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human waste project. |
] |
why is it that whenever someone stops hanging out with me or apryl they tell everyone how we got them into 'bad things' or drugs? please, if you didnt want to fucking take drugs you wouldnt. we dont strap you down and inject you with heroin, if i injected anyone with anything it would be fucking soapy water so i could watch you die. we dont make you say the things you say, you just try SO FUCKING HARD to be like us. than act like youre better than us after youve completely ripped off certain aspects of our personalities. thats only with girls though. guys just act like we brainwashed them. i fucking hate you people, stop blaming me for your irresponsibilities. if you cant handle the lifestyle you choose, dont blame me for it. kill yourself.
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| yum yum chocolate chip, honey dip. can i get a scoop? |
[27 Nov 2004|09:50am] |
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mood |
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dorky |
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music |
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christina aguilera.dirrty |
] |
apryls doing the dishes. WHAT THE FUCK APRYL?!?!?!?! youd think shes on crack, but no. were listening to christina aguilera, i can only imagine apryls sexy moves while washing dishes. anyway last night. lets see. me and stephanie had drama at the bank with my pin number, but we eventually got money. apryl called, so we picked her up and went to get pot. which was good. i was so high. i forgot we were hanging out with mike so i made stephanie drop me and apryl off to shower. we were doing each others hair when mike and stephanie walked in, it was scary, we werent wearing make up. mike bought us alcohol, and he apparently drank too much.
um we went to monicas. i fucking love that bitch. her friend britney was there, i dont like her much. cassie and emily came for a while. they were fun. we made fun of this 15 year old boy who couldnt handle his alcohol. he kept like, touching my face. and trying to talk to me. so i just kicked him a lot. lol we had fake names that he actually remembered. francesca, esmerelda, oblina, and morticia. me, apryl, cassie, and emily.
something really embarassing happened to me and apryl in the bathroom. it involves food.
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[25 Nov 2004|09:56am] |
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mood |
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drunk |
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music |
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lullacry |
] |
mm. yeah. fucking hangover on christmas morning. nice.lmao i mean thanksgiving. last night was fucking awesome. i wish apryl was there. so um, monica came and picked me up than we got niki. we met stephanie and jordynn, and we all drank the rest of our vodka from the night before. and that didnt do too much for anyone but niki and jordynn. so i drove to the chink store, and niki bought us more. she left, to go hang out with some acid kids. so we went to the trailer next to monicas cause it was empty. haha, we were sitting in the bath tub drinking. and monicas mom called, and i farted. i just think its really funny that her mom said "what the fuck was that?"
ooooooh shit. um. what else even happened. monicas brother kept trying to freak us out. and melissas brother left me a message, which was just SO frightening. seriously. we picked up pat. i got to do the driving. he said he was scared. hahahaha. niki called and asked to meet her with the people i introduced her to. which was um, less than thrilling. but i got to stare at sexy boys in girls jeans so i was good. pat held onto that bottle all fucking night. wendy made us lemon drops, and her friend kept telling me and pat how cool we were. he barfed in the neighbors lawn. hes still here i think, i havent checked. i should go do that, he probaly needs to be home.
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| take this guilt from me |
[21 Nov 2004|08:47pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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music |
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the zombies.shes not there |
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so yeah. today was kind of boring. well really boring. nikki woke me up with her 'emergency' which wasnt that much of an emergency. so her and stephanie came over, stephanie left and we watched tv all day. lol. than stephanie got us, and we went to the alley cat. we matched bowls with some random guys. they were hot, and had good pot. than i spent the rest of the night screaming, so my voice is all raspy. i enjoy it. i fucking love screaming, my shoulders are all sore cause they tense up when i scream.
people piss me off. im so pissed at like, everyone in the world.
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| i cherish all my misery alone |
[16 Oct 2004|12:50pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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hole.northern star |
] |
yesterday was pretty lame. stephanie eddie and jordynn picked me up. and we smoked some pot. and drank. with dustin. the fat kid from back in the day who was friends with brett. he got fatter. um. than the retard bought us some beer and we went to his house to drink it. he kept looking up stephanies skirt. it was gross. me and stephanie went to the chink store and met a hot guy who was so totally tweaking. hes my new friend. then to burger king to meet morgan melissa and michelle. that was boring too. we went to old town and old people made fun of us. "do you know where theres a cool goth club?" thats cool i didnt know i was gothic. and then, "you look like a fine girl" i was too drunk to realize he was making fun of me so morgan defended me. then we went to the alley cat cause morgan and michelle wanted coffee. and i hit on some guy playing the guitar. yeah nothing else really happened. we went back to the reatrds house and he was talking about how he was hoping to get some tonight. fucking sick. eddie and jordynn went to some lame high school party. no not party. shindig.
stephanies on her way to pick me up. so im gonna go.
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| smoke too many cigarettes a day |
[26 Sep 2004|08:56am] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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music |
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madonna.bad girl |
] |
are you named after anyone: a character on tv my mom thought was hot. What's your screename?: lipstickdestroys Would you name a child of yours after you?: no. fuck no. If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? jane. or francesca. If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: anya Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: its not really that hard. theres only four letters.
Basics
Your gender: thats up for discussion Single?: yeah If not, do you want to be?: i dont give a fuck. Birthdate: april 16 Your age: 19 Age you act: 19 Age you wish you were: 16 Your height: 6'0" Eye color: blue/green/yellow Happy with it?: yes Hair color: gross ass brown Happy with it?: after i dye it white Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: righty. Have any pets?: one cat, two dogs. Whats your job?: i dont have a job yet Piercings?: ears Tattoos?: sometime Obsessions?: not so much anymore, fucking finally. Addictions?: yes Do you speak another language?: partly Have a favorite quote?: i reserve the right to hate anyone for no reason at all Do you have a webpage? no Do you live in the moment?: i live in the past and the fututre, thinking of what i should have said or what i should do. it never happens. Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: no Do you have any secrets?: yeah. Do you hate yourself? most of the time, yes Do you like your handwriting?: no, but who cares. If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: i suck dick for beer What's your biggest fear?: fuck you. none of your business. Can you sing?: if i try, i guess. my friends say i can, but they could by lying. Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no Are you a loner?: in big groups of people i am. i dont like big groups of people. What are your #1 priorities in life?: cigarettes If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: no Are you a daredevil?: about certain things. Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yeah, but thats personal. do you have a journal?: i used to have a real one, but i felt like such a loser writing in it. What is your greatest strength and weakness?: i think my strength is my being blunt, and my weakness is not caring enough about other people. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: be a girl. Do you think you are emotionally strong?: i used to be, now i always need someone to hold my hand through everything. Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: i regret waiting so long to start making friends in colorado. Do you think life has been good so far?: no, i dont. What is the most important lesson you've learned in life?: chicks before dicks, and "dont dream it, be it" What do you like the most about your body?: my face And least?: everything else Are you confident?: most of the time What is the fictional character you are most like?: angela chase from my so-called life Are you perceived wrongly?: all the fucking time
Do You... Smoke?: anything that you can smoke, i smoke Do drugs?: anything except heroin and extacy Read the newspaper?: sometimes Pray?: not to god Go to church?: if its cold and i have nowhere else to go Talk to strangers who IM you?: if im lonely Sleep with stuffed animals?: no Take walks in the rain?: i used to love the rain, but i really started to hate it Talk to people even though you hate them?: if theyre really nice i cant help it Drive?: my license got taken away Like to drive fast?: i love to
Would or Have You Ever? ever drive fast? of course Hurt yourself: emotionally Been out of the country?: yes Eaten something that made other people sick?: i dont think so. Done drugs?: yeah Had a medical emergency?: yeah Had surgery?: yeah Ran away from home?: haha once in 9th grade with my friend laura. for like one day. Played strip poker?: fuck no Gotten beaten up?: i got punched in the face once, it didnt really hurt. and my brother used to beat me up all the time cause im a fag, but i dont think that counts. Beaten someone up?: yeah Been picked on?: yeah, but it always prooved entertaining Been on stage?: ew god, greased lightning Slept outdoors?: never again Thought about suicide?: not for a while Pulled an all nighter?: ive tried to, i always fall asleep though. If yes, what is your record?: 48 hours i guess. Gone one day without food?: more than one Talked on the phone all night?: i used to all the time, but i dont really have a connection like that with anyone anymore. Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: all the time Slept all day?: not all 24 hours. Killed someone?: no. Done anything sexual besides kissing?: yeah Done sexual things with someone in a bed?: yeah Done sexual things with someone in a car?: yeah Done sexual things with someone on a tiger?: what kind of crazy bitch does that Done sexual things with someone in someone else's bed?: yeah Done sexual things with someone on/in a moving object other than a car?: no Done sexual things with someone in water (shower, swimming pool, etc.)?: no Done sexual things with someone while your parents were within ten metres?: yeah, their bedroom is pretty close to mine. Done sexual things with someone while a family member of yours or your partners was close by?: haha yeah Had sex with a stranger?: why, what have you heard? Thought you're going crazy?: all the time Been betrayed?: too many times to count Had a dream that came true?: yeah. Broken the law?: no, never. not once. i did a uturn once, i felt so naughty. Met a famous person?: yeah Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: yes. the rabbit. Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: yes, but i regret it. Stolen anything?: plenty Been on radio/tv?: i was on tv in sixth grade because i was going to "shoot up the school" Been in a mosh-pit?: only as a joke Had a nervous breakdown?: once for everytime ive been in "love" Bungee jumped?: nope, id rather sky dive. Had a dream that kept coming back?: i dont think thats ever happened to me
Belive in life on other planets?: yeah, there has to be. Miracles?: not for me. Astrology?: if its done right. Magic?: no God?: no Satan?: no Santa?: no Ghosts?: yeah Luck?: yeah. love at first sight?: i dont believe in love, so how could i believe in that. Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: yes Witches?: well they exist, but they dont have powers or anything. Easter bunny?: um Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yes Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: youll never find the end of a rainbow, so why does it matter? Do you wish on stars?: not anymore, i know wishes dont come true.
Deep Theological Questions Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: no. i think when you die theres nothing. just blackness, no thoughts. Do you think God has a gender?: no Do you believe in organized religion?: fucking cults Where do you think we go when we die?: in a casket
Friends Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: of course. what kind of fag would i be Who is your best friend?: (apryls answer)i dont have a best. they're all equal. Who's the one person that knows most about you?: apryl and anya. What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: i dont listen to peoples advice, even though i wish i did. Your favourite joke?: i dont like jokes. Thing you're picked on most about?: i couldnt tell you. no one has enough balls to ever confront me anymore. Who's your longest known friend?: well ashleigh, but we havent talked in years. same with john and laura. so it would be anya. than apryl. Who is the shyiest?: i dont have any shy friends Funniest?: (apryl said) stephanie for randomness...and andy for self centered comments. gotta love them. ( i fucking love it) Sweetest?: anya Closest?: i dont feel close to anyone Weirdest?: stephanie Smartest?: anya Ditziest?: apryl Friends you miss being close to the most?: all of them Last person you talked to online?: apryl Who do you talk to most online?: i dont talk online much, but apryl the most as of last night. Who are you on the phone with most?: melissa. Who do you trust most?: i dont think i really trust anyone. honestly probably only stephanie. and thats not meant to be insulting to anyone. Who listens to your problems?: i dont talk about them Who do you physically fight most with?: it used to be apryl, but were just getting on good terms again. so the physical abuse has to wait. Who's the nicest? apryl i guess Who's the most outgoing?: stephanie Who's the best singer?: none of them sing for me who's on your shit-list?: hm. nick. and blake. Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: i dont have many guy friends, and the ones i do have are straight. Who's friend's parents are you closest to?: melissas. Do you always feel understood?: never Who's the loudest friend?: melissa Do you trust others easily?: not anymore Who's house were you last at?: nicks Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: ill tell you once i find out. Do your friends know you?: they know what i let them know, everyone has their secrets. Friend that lives farthest away: anya
Love and All That Do you consider love a mistake?: i think anyone who isnt "in love" would say yes. What do you find romantic?: i dont know its hard to say. for meit involves drugs and thats depressing. If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: bad Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them: sure Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: no..i like old romantic rules Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: hahaha yes. ew. What's the last present someone gave you?: lace gloves Are you in love?: no
Who Was the Last Person... That haunted you?: thats better left unsaid You wanted to kill? i dont remember, that kid who was starting shit with me and apryl at cinemark. he got his. That you laughed at?: that little boy in the woods yesterday. That laughed at you?: savannah You went shopping with?: stephanie and melissa That broke your heart?: fuck off thats personal To make you cry?: also personal To brighten up your day? it was brightened one day and the next day the same person pissed me off soo much. you thought about?: morgan You saw a movie with?: morgan and stephanie. vanity fair. You talked to on the phone?: melissa. You talked to through IM/ICQ?: apryl. i swear to god they already asked that. You saw?: savannah, but thats gross. so stephanie and jordynn.
Right This Moment... Are you going out somewhere?: i hope so. but i just woke up like an hour ago, and everyone else is still sleeping. What are you wearing right now? lace and a camel shirt Body part you're touching right now: im not What are you worryed about right now?: jesus, could they have spelled worried right? shit like that pisses me off. What book are you reading?: nothing right now. What's on your mousepad?: the dell thing Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: bad girl, drunk by six. haha just kidding. i couldnt think of anything else. Are you bored?: not really Are you tired?: kind of Are you talking to anyone online?: no Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no Are you lonely or content?: lonely Are you listening to music?: madonna. even though i hate her, i still like some of her music.
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[25 Sep 2004|11:08am] |
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music |
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build me up buttercup. |
] |
mmmmm yeah. im cool updating my journal at 11 in the morning. yeah thats right. um so yesterday was eventful. me stephanie melissa and jordynn drove around trying to find something to do, or someone to get alcohol from. so we just sat at the chink store. this fucking hot guy walked by and me jordynn and melissa couldnt stop salivating and telling him how hot he was. so yeah, he ended up getting us drunk and smoking us up. at him and his friend kents house. kents an asshole. and some guy named chase? anyway we went to get more alcohol and guess who we saw! you know theyre my favorite people, morgan and tim. fucking gross. we saw rob too. um than i got wasted and that kent guy started talking about how he was anti-homosexual, and i just grabbed my vodka and left. thats fucking bullshit. im so glad melissa and jordynn were pissed off about it too. stephanie thought he was joking, you dont joke like that. but whatever. so we left. i think we went back to my house then. stephanie was too drunk, and was laying with the toilet. so me and jordynn went to pick up apryl. she drank a little, but they all had to leave. so they left. then pat nick molly and branden came. than morgan and michelle. we played with my clothes and dressed nick up. um.. we went to get abby and chelsey so they could get drunk too, but by the time we got back the alcohol was gone. there was a bunch of strangers in my house! they just let themselves in and didnt even talk to anyone who was here. which is so fucked up, these little preppy bitches were giving me abby and chelsey dirty looks. fucking nigger. oh and molly talked shit about me while i was gone, fucking cunt. apparently i think im hot shit, and im full of myself. even if that were true, who gives a shit if i think of myself so highly. what fucking business is it of yours cuntrag? i cant wait to see her again. um everyone left except for abby chelsey melissa michelle morgan and david. he came over too by the way. um ya know what thats enough. im done typing.
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[16 Sep 2004|02:50pm] |
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music |
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deee-lite.bring me your love |
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im so fucking tired of every person telling me which way to vote, like their opinions matter to me. if youre old enough to vote, than vote and stop telling me what to do. i have a mind of my own, i can form an opinion without being badgered.
anyway. ive been listening to deee-lite all day. i just cant fucking stop. but now i dont have any friends who like them. so i have to listen to them by myself, which makes it like 100 times more gay. lady miss kier is my fucking hero. a woman who looks like a man trying to be a woman. how hot is that? for anyone with a bad imagination..

she is my idol
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| what do i have to do |
[14 Sep 2004|03:26am] |
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music |
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deadsy.flowing glower |
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another great day. i saw vanity fair with morgan and stephanie. that was good but a bit long. stephanies bumper fell off, it was kind of funny. that was all fine. we were with craig and evan for a while.. but after they left everything just went to shit. i wish we just stayed with them, like i fucking wanted to. but anyway bad things happened, that i didnt really have any control over. but im still disappointed with myself for it happening. im seriously just going to become a hermit as soon as school starts. im fucking tired of this shit. i really just dont know what else to write, other than fuck. so ill just leave it at that.
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| anya you take too many of these |
[04 Sep 2004|09:11pm] |
but theyre fun so i have to post my results
| Freudian Inventory Results | Genital (40%) you appear to be stuck between a progressive and regressive outlook on life. Latency (50%) you appear to have a good balance of knowledge seeking and practicality. Phallic (53%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Anal (36%) you appear to be overly lacking in self control and organization, and have a compulsive need to defy authority. Oral (33%) you appear to be stubbornly and irrationally against receiving help even when it might be the more intelligent option. | Take Free Freudian Inventory Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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[02 Sep 2004|03:28am] |
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x.] what shampoo do you use = um..i dont know it smells like lavender [x.] what perfume do you use = different kinds [x.] what shoes do you wear = doc martens mostly [x.] what are you scared of = getting old [x.] number of times I have been in love? fuck you none [x.] number of continents I have lived in?: one [x.] number of drugs taken illegally?: theres no possible way to count [x.] number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: three..but hopefully more in the future [x.] number of people I consider my enemies?: tons [x.] number of cd's that I own?: too many to know [x.] number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: like, 7? [x.] number of scars on my body?: i dont count them [x.] number of things in my past that I regret?: too many
(Have you ever..) [x.] Fallen for your best friend? yes [x.] Made out with JUST a friend? Yes [x.] Been in love? no not really [x.] Cheated on someone? kind of
Have you/are you/do you.. [x.] Considered a life of crime? who hasnt [x.] Considered being a hooker? lol. yes. [x.] Considered being a pimp? no [x.] Are you psycho?: .. [x.] Split personalities?: No [x.] Schizophrenic?: No [x.] Obsessive compulsive?: yeah [x.] Panic?: no [x.] Anxiety?: No [x.] Depressed?: sometimes [x.] Suicidal?: no [x.] Obsessed with hate?: at times [x.] Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: frequently [x.] Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them?: yes [x.] Understanding: i dont get it [x.] Open-minded: Yeah [x.] Interesting: not really [x.] Hungry: no [x.] Friendly: no im not nice [x.] Childish: i dont think so. you can disagree if you want to. [x.] Healthy: oh yeah. so much [x.] Difficult: im not difficult. all you need to know about me is i get what i want. the end. [x.] Attractive: not at all [x.] Thirsty: Yes [x.] Responsible: i take no responsiblity for my actions [x.] Sad: eh. when i stop taking drugs long enough to realize whats going on i am [x.] Happy: i wouldnt use that word [x.] Trusting: half the time i dont trust the people who deserve it. the other half i trust my life in the wrong hands.
[x.] Talkative: depends on whos in the room [x.] Different: im not good at judging myself [x.] Lonely: yeah i guess [x.] Have tattoos? nope [x.] Piercings?: just shut up. [x.] Have a girlfriend/boyfriend? no im not good enough for that shit [x.] Floss daily? no [x.] Own a webcam? used to. [x.] Ever get off the damn computer? not really [x.] Current Clothes: my grandpa pants and a blue shirt. [x.] Current Mood: fiending [x.] Current Taste: cookies [x.] Current Hair: in need of a brush [x.] Current Annoyance: apryl. [x.] Current Smell: my lotion [x.] Current thing you thought to be doing: jacking off [x.] Current Book: i never read anymore [x.] current DVD In Player: ginger snaps [x.] Current Refreshment: water [x.] Current Worry: a____. b____. my cd's. [x.] Current Crush: i think everyone knows anyway
On Dating.... [x.] Long or short hair? usually short [x.] Dark or blond hair? dark [x.] Tall or short? tall [x.] Mr./Mrs. Sensitive or Mr./Mrs. Funny?: both [x.] Good boy/girl or bad boy/girl?: im the bad one. so good boy. [x.] Dark or light eyes?: blue eyes. mmmhm. [x.] Hat or no hat? no hat [x.] Pierced or no?: pierced. i guess it doesnt matter though. [x.] Freckles or none?: fuck you. [x.] Stubble or neatly shaven? : shaven
On preferences... [x.] Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? hot chocolate [x.] McDonalds or Burger King? everytime my hamburger looks into my eyes, i forget all my troubles and my happy meal prize. mcdonalds. [x.] Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend?: all in one [x.] Sweet or sour? sour. [x.] Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? root beer [x.] Sappy/action/comedy/horror? horror. like, old horror. [x.] Cats or dogs? cats [x.] Ocean or Pool? lakes [x.] Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? cool ranch [x.] Mud or Jell-O wrestling? mud.
[x.]With or without ice-cubes? With [x.] sunshine or rain? Rain [x.] Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring?: Fall [x.] Vanilla or Chocolate? vanilla [x.] Gloves or mittens? gloves [x.] Eyes open or closed? closed [x.] Fly or breathe under water? fly [x.] Chewing gum or hard candy? hard candy
[x.] Motor boat or sailboat? motor boat [x.] Lights on or off? Off [x.] Chicken or fish? i love chicken. i fucking love it. [x.] Clay or Ruben? what? [x.] Paris or Nichole? paris is a fucking dumb twat. its all about nicole.
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| walking don the street, shuffling my feet |
[31 Aug 2004|09:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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i wanna wait |
] |
hahaha im at cenntennial. this is cool. um. stephanie went home sick. its lame. i need a cigarette so bad. this fucking keyboard sucks. i saw apryl. i was like theres your mom. and shes all like, thats not my mom. and i was like. oh. i just got yelled at for using a computer. im not a real student. im a fake one. i feel like i go to fucking highschool again. how cool am i?
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[25 Aug 2004|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
] |
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music |
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metallica.battery |
] |
today was actually a really good day. besides counting how many of my cd's were broken which was pretty upsetting. music is my life, and having 37 cd's smashed is pretty heartbreaking.
anyway i went to court, and they dismissed it. "i cant proove this, this is ridiculous." that cop just had it out for me. i got a new jacket from the repeat boutique. its hot. and i enrolled at cheeks international beauty college. haha im going to beauty school. does anyone else find the funny? i dont have any white shirts, at all. its part of the dress code to wear a white shirt and black pants, so i get to go shopping for new clothes.
when we got home we found some of trevors homework on my frontlawn. so they must of tried to fuck up something at my house. which is fabulous. im happy theyre so mature.
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[23 Aug 2004|06:50pm] |
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dear apryl.
im so very tired of youre drama. you speak of growing up, maybe you should actually do that and quit being such a whiny little girl. i dont know what i did this time. actually i probably do. and if im right, thanks so much for the double standard! much appreciated. what a great chance to break away from you. i hope you fucking slit your wrist and nobody goes to your funeral.
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[18 Aug 2004|03:13pm] |
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music |
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yuriko.bad timing |
] |
im fucking bored. i dont wanna walk so far to smoke a cigarette. theres no one to talk to. theres no one to hang out with.
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| no matter what you do, i only wanna be with you |
[12 Aug 2004|11:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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nostalgic |
] |
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music |
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twiggy & twiggy |
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yeah. last night was pretty fucking cool. i went and got melissa first, and i stole her 4 sheets of triple c. stealing again was fucking scary, especially from super wal-mart. yeah then we went over to tims just to see if he was there. he was and so were trevor and morgan. and a bottle of vodka and some pot. so we smoked a few bowls than went to meet stephanie and jordynn. such hot girls. melissa split her triple c with stephanie and saved some for morgan. savannah poped out of fucking nowhere, and me and her went back to tims and i took some more shots. a party kind of just happened. cassidy came over. with acid. but no. i did not indulge myself. everyone was really drunk and/or on triple c, but stephanie and jordynn had to leave. i hope they survived the extremely long drive home. ha. it got too loud and chris started yelling so me and melissa went for a drive and fucked around for a while. embarrassed her in the laundromat. i thought it was funny. leauschan walked by and we asked him if chris was still pissed, but she wasnt so we went back and talked to her for like an hour. savannah and josie came and we started drinking some more. and smoking some more.
me and melissa started singing ooooeeeeuuuu.. KILLER TOFU! (if you know what that is you kick ass) everyone else knew it and we had a sing along. played on the swings for a while, that didnt work too well. so i went home.
apryl. we should hang out with her right now.
oh wait. i had such good dreams last night. im not gonna embarass myself and explain them. but they were good enough to wake up with a hard on.
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[07 Aug 2004|01:44pm] |
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music |
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look so pretty |
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im bored. i got drunk and took pinkies last night. same thing the day before that. i got my car back. fucking finally. um i dont wanna write anymore.
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[05 Aug 2004|06:44pm] |
Your Love Style Is... Shattered! |
Come on have a little more faith in yourself. You are worthy of love and shouldn't be afraid to go for it! Don't let people of the opposite sex push you around, you are an awesome person and it's about time you realized this. |
What is your Love Style? Find out at DatingTips.ws
this quiz kind of pissed me off. not everyone in the world is fucking straight. thank god. somebodies gotta have some style.
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| everybody said shes look good |
[04 Aug 2004|04:56pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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skeeter davis.the end of the world |
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my arms are so terribly sun burned. they fucking hurt like hell. morgan called like 8 times yesterday. and tim left a message about needing to talk to me about the floaties? i didnt listen yet, my mom just told me. fuck i smell. i get my liscence tomorrow, if they have time to give me my drivers test. i have to take my fucking drivers test again. oh well. i can drive good when i want to, it shouldnt be that hard. i met some really hot guys in jail. like, really hot. this one guy james was probably the hottest guy ive ever seen. i was in awe the whole time and i just kept staring at him. he asked me for a cig and i just mumbled something and threw one at him. im too cool, really i am.
i woke up after like an hour of sleep, and i cried? i dont know why, i just cried. mostly because i miss apryl i guess. i had a lump in my throat thinking about her tuesday morning. anyway i was awake most of the night, trying to sleep. and when i almost got there, some fucking asshole had to go and snore again.
i should call people soon, but i just want to be smelly and gross for a while. so they can wait. unless they wanna smell, stephanie might. so im gonna call her.
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